---
title: Ladies, ENJOY Valentine's Day & more
description: "Reclaiming Pleasure: Overcoming Female Sexual Dysfunction Through Embodiment and Healing"
image: https://rootedsonshine.com/hubfs/female%20sexuality.png
---

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# Ladies, ENJOY Valentine's Day & more

![Kyla Scott](https://rootedsonshine.com/hubfs/headshot.jpeg)

[Kyla Scott January 31, 2025](https://rootedsonshine.com/blog/author/kyla-scott)

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- 3 mins

### Happy Valentine's Day!

Let's get weird for a minute . . . at least, uncomfortable, for some of us - I want to address female sexuality 💕 

When I was in undergrad and completing a research requirement, I wrote on female sexual dysfunction. That experience of researching, writing, but particularly explaining the existence of female sexuality, how it works and sometimes doesn't, *and* justifying its merit to my professor has become a foundation of how I look at the world and my society ever since. 

---

### **Don't be shy. Be honest.**

Sexuality is an intrinsic part of well-being, yet many women feel disconnected from pleasure, their bodies, and even their partners. According to the [**Journal of Sexual Medicine**](https://academic.oup.com/jsm), nearly 40% of women experience some form of sexual dysfunction, whether it's low libido, difficulty with arousal, pain during intercourse, or anorgasmia (inability to climax). 

[Ev’Yan Whitney](https://www.evyanwhitney.com/embodied-pleasure), somatic practitioner and sexuality doula**®,** has focused on pleasure activism, trauma reconciliation, and embodiment and explains in their workshop: 

> "Maybe you want to feel fully present in your sexual life. You want to experience full-bodied enjoyment where you can be in all of your senses, stay connected to your partner, and feel safe in your intimate experiences.
> 
> **But you just can’t get out of your head.**
> 
> Things start off well but then your mind begins to wander. . . the stresses of the day. . . to-do list . . . work drama. . . . 
> 
> You begin to freeze and dissociate.
> 
> If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. So many of us dissociate during sex and intimacy and whether we know the reason why we do it, it can be so frustrating—especially when it seems to happen out of nowhere."

### **Prioritizing Female Sexuality**

Research on **female sexuality** has been vastly **understudied** compared to male sexuality. Cultural taboos, gender biases in science, and the prioritization of male-centric models of sexual function have perpetuated significant gaps in understanding - even for women who experience sex firsthand. 

I read a book once that simply posed the question - what is sex?

I (embarrassingly) realized that my own personal definition of sex did not include anything about female pleasure, but did put an emphasis on male orgasm. 

Sexuality is complex, and tons of things can impact women's pleasure - from various physical, psychological, and emotional factors, including but not limited to:

- **Hormonal imbalances:** perimenopause, postpartum changes, or thyroid issues
- **Chronic stress and trauma:** past sexual trauma or body shame
- **Emotional disconnect:** from oneself or a partner
- **Medical conditions:** endometriosis, PCOS, or pelvic floor dysfunction
- **Side effects of medication**

 Some women who struggle with finding pleasure during sex have found success by:

- Practicing mindfulness during intimate moments to move attention from performance anxiety to **present-moment pleasure**.
- Moving your body in intuitive, non-structured ways—like sensual dance or yoga—can unlock stored tension and **reignite your connection to pleasure**.
- Working with a sex or somatic therapist.
- **Journaling and self-reflection** around relationships and pleasure can bring insights about unconscious beliefs or fears.
- Engaging in conversations with other women about sexuality to **normalize pleasure** and dissolve shame.

### **More Resources**

<https://www.evyanwhitney.com/embodied-pleasure>There is a lot more work and research that needs to be done to better support women in experiencing consistent pleasure during sex, but there are a few doing the work now: 

- [The Journal of Sexual Medicine](https://www.jsm.jsexmed.org/)
- [Somatic Experiencing for Trauma & Sexual Healing](https://traumahealing.org/)
- [Pelvic Floor Therapy & Sexual Health](https://nafc.org/bhealth-blog/sex-and-your-pelvic-floor/)

![Kyla Scott](https://rootedsonshine.com/hubfs/headshot.jpeg)

### Kyla Scott

My professional goals are to support emotional health and well-being, develop informed appreciation of culture, foster critical thinking, and provide individuals with applicable information and practical skills that can be used in professional and personal lives.

<https://rootedsonshine.com/blog/author/kyla-scott>

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