Let's get weird for a minute . . . at least, uncomfortable, for some of us - I want to address female sexuality đź’•
When I was in undergrad and completing a research requirement, I wrote on female sexual dysfunction. That experience of researching, writing, but particularly explaining the existence of female sexuality, how it works and sometimes doesn't, and justifying its merit to my professor has become a foundation of how I look at the world and my society ever since.
Sexuality is an intrinsic part of well-being, yet many women feel disconnected from pleasure, their bodies, and even their partners. According to the Journal of Sexual Medicine, nearly 40% of women experience some form of sexual dysfunction, whether it's low libido, difficulty with arousal, pain during intercourse, or anorgasmia (inability to climax).
Ev’Yan Whitney, somatic practitioner and sexuality doula®, has focused on pleasure activism, trauma reconciliation, and embodiment and explains in their workshop:
"Maybe you want to feel fully present in your sexual life. You want to experience full-bodied enjoyment where you can be in all of your senses, stay connected to your partner, and feel safe in your intimate experiences.
But you just can’t get out of your head.
Things start off well but then your mind begins to wander. . . the stresses of the day. . . to-do list . . . work drama. . . .
You begin to freeze and dissociate.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. So many of us dissociate during sex and intimacy and whether we know the reason why we do it, it can be so frustrating—especially when it seems to happen out of nowhere."
Research on female sexuality has been vastly understudied compared to male sexuality. Cultural taboos, gender biases in science, and the prioritization of male-centric models of sexual function have perpetuated significant gaps in understanding - even for women who experience sex firsthand.
I read a book once that simply posed the question - what is sex?
I (embarrassingly) realized that my own personal definition of sex did not include anything about female pleasure, but did put an emphasis on male orgasm.
Sexuality is complex, and tons of things can impact women's pleasure - from various physical, psychological, and emotional factors, including but not limited to: